Something in the air

There is a sensation of hope, this little vibration of positivity trying to break through the fog.
I'm looking outside, everything seems so still...as something is coming, anticipating a change.

Maybe I'm imagining it all, trying to hold onto a little piece of faith that things are getting better.
But unless I believe these things for myself, who else will? No one.

There are so many things changing for those around me, is it so bad for me to wish the same for myself?
God knows after all of this I need some good. But at the same time that annoying little voice starts to scream at me" You are a fool". For a few moments I believe it, but know deep down i have to keep fighting.
I have learned also to pick my battles and take things one step at a time.
For weight loss, a pound here and there= a victory
An interview, an exam= a victory
A message from a nice man=a victory.
I have to appreciate the little steps taken and stop focusing on why everything is taking so long to manifest.
Many things are out of our hands and we have to stop fixating on the what ifs and why me's. You need to learn to appreciate the blessings you have now and realize that if you continue to strive for the things you want, it will come into your life.

"Lullaby"

Because we have all felt like giving up at one point in our lives and it is important to remember you can still find the light even upon the darkest of days.

Well, I know the feelingOf finding yourself stuck out on the ledgeAnd there ain't no healingFrom cutting yourself with the jagged edgeI'm telling you that, it's never that badTake it from someone who's been where you're atLaid out on the floorAnd you're not sure you can take this anymoreSo just give it one more try to a lullabyAnd turn this up on the radioIf you can hear me nowI'm reaching outTo let you know that you're not aloneAnd if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell'Cause I can't get you on the telephoneSo just close your eyesOh, honey here comes a lullabyYour very own lullabyPlease let me take youOut of the darkness and into the light'Cause I have faith in youThat you're gonna make it through another nightStop thinking about the easy way outThere's no need to go and blow the candle outBecause you're not doneYou're far too youngAnd the best is yet to comeSo just give it one more try to a lullabyAnd turn this up on the radioIf you can hear me nowI'm reaching outTo let you know that you're not aloneAnd if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell'Cause I can't get you on the telephoneSo just close your eyesOh, honey here comes a lullabyYour very own lullabyWell, everybody's hit the bottomEverybody's been forgottenWhen everybody's tired of being aloneYeah, everybody's been abandonedAnd left a little empty handedSo if you're out there barely hanging on...Just give it one more try to a lullabyAnd turn this up on the radioIf you can hear me nowI'm reaching outTo let you know that you're not aloneAnd if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell'Cause I can't get you on the telephoneSo just close your eyesOh, honey here comes a lullabyYour very own lullabyOh, honey here comes a lullabyYour very own lullaby

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change

It has been quite some time since I have written here, actually it has been a long time since I have written about myself in general. Now what could have possibly influenced me to decide to blog again? Nothing in particular.
Now I'm not going to promise to myself or anyone that I will not leave again, life sometimes pushes you in another direction. This may be my one and only post or it can be the start of a new blogging chapter in my life...who knows.
Obviously a lot has changed in a year and a bit, but why revisit the past. It is a new year so I will write a little about what has taken place so far.
So I had an enjoyable trip to St. Petersburg Florida with family. At first the weather was not exactly favorable, far too cold for my liking. Thankfully the warmth returned and I was able to take in some sun. The trip was exactly what I needed after last few months of chaos; warmth, food and relaxation=bliss.
After returning from vacation, life has returned to it's busy pace. Interviews, tests, trying to have a little bit of a social life and continuously making excuses for not working out(still holding at 30 lbs lost). So far this month has been fairly positive and providing some exciting possibilities.
There are still days that are better then others, weeks that seem to never end and moments I just want to scream...but I'm making it work.

I've realized that stressing and freaking out is a complete waste of energy, the outcome is not going to change. The Universe always has a way of providing guidance in the most dire of times. No matter how crappy today may be, tomorrow is a new start.
So that being said, I'm ready to accept everything 2012 has to bring.


Love and Light,
Mel

Good bye and thanks

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who follows me, comments and so on and so forth. I just realized I really do not have time to blog and really i don't want to anymore. It used to be my way of venting when times are hard, but I realize it didn't really help. Getting out, meeting people has. I'm so much stronger now then I used to be. I will periodically update my art blog.

All the best :)

Oracle Friday's

So I've felt inspired to start my weekly card readings. I used to do celtic animal readings and angel card readings for friends on facebook.
So each Friday I will pull a card for the day, see what the message is.

Today's card: Crane (reversed)

Now reversed cards are not always negative, they do often have a slightly reversed meaning of what the card means upright, but each teaching of the card is aimed at assisting.

Cranes are the keeper of secrets, a hidden knowledge and are patrons of the written word. Crane reversed suggests that you should be watchful with who you confide in.Be careful not to betray any trust and use your intuition when sharing your knowledge. Also crane suggests that you do not make assumptions if you are not entirely sure in the information you are receiving, go to the source directly and keep an open mind.

A Day of pictures

One of my favorite things is to take my camera and just explore the area around me. I love finding special places.

Back to posting, because I don't care

Why waste time, emotion and energy anymore on the mundane. Why should I care about who is looking, who is not looking or what people think... It seems to pointless.



Life has taught me that time will consume your better days if you obsess about things that are just completely out of your control. I will proudly speak my mind, I have left to many things un said and I'm sick of regrets.

I want to let go of fear and just live. Be spontaneous from time to time, meet new people...oh god do I ever need to meet new people.
I'm so sick of the fair weather friends, those who bail on you when times get tough. Those who take advantage of your kindness, you can smell the reek of their fake-ness from a mile away.

I love friendships that are care free and low maintenance. If i want to hang out and watch a movie there is no pageantry that you have to put on. You can chat on the phone about completely random things, or not even talk for months and still have an effortless conversation.
I'm thankful to have one or two friends like this, but I wish there were more.

This seems to be a recurring theme in my life, make them and loose them. But this is what life is about, lessons learned and willingness to kepe trying.